Hi All,

    So the last few days have been a real kick in the gut as of lately.  I have been on a mini-vacation so I went to stay with family who lives in Nashville TN.   Well I have a friend who lives in Nashville, who I have some history with as more than friends kinda.... Well let me explain to you. 

    Let me start a few years ago while I was in college me and this girl named Bridget met each other in a Ecology class while at school.    Well when we first meet each other Bridget was dating a  guy named Christopher, who I known well, and I thought they where very committed to each other.  Well Bridgett invited me over to help her study for our class, no big issue, well when I got over there  we studied nothing unusual went on, other than she asked me if Christopher had said anything about her.   Well I told her no that Christopher had not talked about her and she asked me if I wanted to hang out some time.  I told her sure, I mean she was fun girl to hang out with and we had fun being smart asses together.   Well to shorten this story a bit, one night she called me to ask to come hang out and have a drink or two.   Well  I went and had drinks, well I thought they would be other people there but no it was just me and her.

    Well as we are having drinks she comes on to me and we start messing around with each other but we do not sleep together.  Do about everything except sleep together and course I was a complete dick considering I knew she had a boyfriend.  I felt bad about it, but this thing goes on throughout the rest of the college year and she would often get drunk and call me wanting to hook up but we never did.  I mean I would be honest about it here because we hell why lie?   Well she finally asked me to date her, and I never would date her because she would cheat on her boyfriends with other guys not always with me.   So first off I know I was a real dick for messing around with her and never wanting to date her.   Well this kinda of thing went on between us for like another 2 years. We had a major falling out one night when she asked me, why I would not date her, and I told her she was not my type. We remained friends till both of us meet our some ones; I meet my future X fiancee,  and she was with her future X husband.  

    Well after we both split up with our x romantic partners we did talk some but not much due to my pineing over my X fiancee.  So we had some what of a falling out on second time cause she got so mad about hearing about my x fiancee.   So after about a year we got to talking to each other again and we started hanging out again as friends.  Well she invited me over a couple of nights ago and we got to drinking and both of us got shit wrecked from drinking.   Well as we did, she started making out with me and telling me, "she loved me" and "we where going to get married."  Well I know I should have just said no this aint going to happen but let me say; I have not been laid in five years and counting, so my larger brain was not running too well.   So we chit chat and as we made out she wound up asking if we just wanting to get it over with and go ahead and hook up.   I was all about this plan, but we didn't we just made out again.  Well we decided to go to bed, cause we where both drunker than hell, I wanted to sleep in there with her just cause actually I miss that from my relationship.  We she said no, so I stumbled to her extra room to sleep it off.  Then I heard some on beating on the door, I went there and she was outside with her last x boyfriend making out with him.

    The next morning, feeling like hell from my hangover, I come out to the kitchen and she is in there getting a drink of water.  I agreed and I felt like hell, but we took a minute and was chatting, I never asked her a question about her x boyfriend.  I asked though if she wanted to go get some greasy ohh so yummy waffle house to help cure the hangovers.   She said, "ahhh  no my x hasn't woke up yet."  I just keep thinking, "what the hell what was all the bullshit you talked to me last night?"  Ohh so that how it is I have been kicked to, "Ohh if this does not work out, you will do, cause you will not find anyone."  I mean is that what they pushed me too in my life really?   This is horse shit.  I will be honest, I will not settle for this shit in my life.  I would rather drive my truck off a cliff and crash in burn listening to some Master of Puppets then spend my time waiting on her..... Really is that all we have left in life if your 30 or older, is just being the guy everyone settled for because they are afraid of being alone.    No thanks I would rather eat a piece of lead than be that person....

I'm reminded of a Hank Williams III song.......

So give me 5 shots of whiskey
to help kill the misery and pain
you put me through
Thanks for the good times,
for they were the best of my life
I spent with you
Now what can I do?

What real man does not love living in the country?  I mean pissing off your front porch in privacy, building bon fires in the back yard,  no sounds of heavy traffic, and seeing wildlife in the yard.  Also a man has to love dirt roads and being able to execute Dukes of Hazard power slides around turns.  True man's paradise correct?  Well yes and no..Now let me preface this as I'm writing this as a country guy who has moved to a new backwoods location.....

Try to find a date in the country.....

Well let's take a look at meeting singles in the country, so where do you typically meet singles in the country.  Well there is a few choices but for time sake and because I'm the one writing this up I'm only gonna focus on a few.

1.) School, usually you went to school with the folks in the area got to know each other and usually meet some one this way.  Also you have friends, that graduated from the area and they know singles in the area and you get introduced to new potential mates through them.....So nothing new here from anywhere really....

2.) CHURCH.....Look you want to meet singles and get to know folks in the country, get your sorry ass to church.  Now the best part other than the good religious teachings that our sorry ass needs that you will get in church is the gossip.  If you want to know anything about anyone go to church and listen to folks talk, at first not much will be said, after some time you will become privy to any dirt to anyone in the area.  Sad don't yuns think?   I mean aint church supposed to be about forgiveness and unconditional love? Also it is a great networking tool.  

3.) Local grocery store, nothing says lets go out to dinner like trying to meet a new face in the local store.  Yea I tried this it not only makes you look and feel like a creepy bastard but your better off cutting your dick off and mailing it to the pope because he will get more use from it than you!   Cause nothing says "Hi, are you single?" like holding cold deli cuts.  

4.) Also there is the local festivals.....County Fairs, other festivals, or parades.  Nothing sets the mood of lets go looking for available women like frequenting these kind of get together.  The problem is when you go to these everyone is there with their families or friends  so it makes it hard to determine if they are single or not.    Also there is the jealousy issue you have to realize, ohhh dear, heaven forbid if you accidentally ask out a girl who is seeing some one else.  Ohhh shit your gonna start some drama, even if you do not know she is seeing some one, you had better be ready to either to fight or at least do some serious explaining for making that mistake.   Seen that a few times, I accidentally made this mistake of asking out a girl who was dating some guy.  I really thought me and him where gonna fight even when I explained I was new to the area and did not know anyone. 

5.) Good causes such as blood drives or charity events....Make sure you do a little talking before starting to try to get a date....lol  This actually happened to me I went to Wal-Mart to get some groceries and there was a blood mobile taking donations.  Now with me being the ever loving asshole that I am, I still believe in donating blood at every point.  The reason why is I have had family need emergency blood and it is a good program, a real man endeavors to take care of those who can't take care of themselves.   Now that does not mean to not take care of yourself or your family. ...Back to the story anyways I tried hitting on the the girl that worked me up, she was cute.  Well that was not going anywhere no surprise.  So I decided "ohh well," then as I was having blood taken I meet a hot little blond.  We got to talking while we where both donating, just general chit chatting, nothing too special.  She was actually kinda freaking out cause this was the first time she had ever donated blood.   Now to me I went with a guess I figured she was around 21 to 24.  So we chatted and we finished at the same time.  So as we got off the bus together we chatted and went our separate ways.  Well I keep running into her in the store with her dad and little sister, now I was glad I didn't try to hit on her.  She was probably not even 18.  So wheww dodged a major bullet there...... So moral of the story ensure your hitting on a girl of age.....

6.) Online Dating site....So after several months of looking for a date actually even before I relocated I started on some dating websites to just find a date or two just for dinner.  Well I signed up on Match, Eharmony, Plenty of Fish, and Zoosk in hopes of meeting some one.  Well to be honest that hope was dashed after being on these sites after a year.   Now I'm still on them after four years with the hope of meeting some one.   My friends one which lives in Atlanta GA, suggested them after all that was how he meet his fiancee, was through these websites.   Well for me I have noticed when living in the backwoods these websites do not mean shit.  They never  really help you, yea they show you people that sign up and might be around but honestly the commercials have given us all a false since of reality.  Now I'm not the most in shape guy, never had a six pack abs and never will no matter what I do, trust me I tried for it.  Now your telling me I'm not even a option.  Geee thanks assholes.    Really dating websites just make you depressed when mixed in with tv.  

Feel free to comment and provide your ideas and thoughts as well.  

Honey, just cause I talk slow doesn't mean I'm stupid...... Taken from the Movie Sweet Home Alabama

    Yes, yes I know what your thinking, "What the Fuck Dude, You just been placed on probation for violations against your man card for quoting such a chick flick."  Alright fellas calm the hell down for minuet and let us put on our thinking caps.   Now I believe the main dude in the movie popped off with this when Reese Witherspoon was being a massive bitch to him, acting like he was a complete moron.     Now why did I use this to begin with?   There is a simple answer, well us gentlemen of the rural areas of the south often have a southern accent.  Ladies often hearing this accent automatically deduct thousands of IQ points from us for this offense.   Fellas we could hold degrees in Quantum Physics and if you have a southern accent then your still a dumb hick. 

    The best examples are the ones experienced, I have traveled all over this country, and it amazed me, to find such biases in every corner of the nation.  So let use some examples....

1.) Nashville, TN
        Me and the guys often go out in Nashville and every time we do I always have some girl laugh at me and         ask if I'm really trying to talk to her with that kind of accent.  Seriously a Southern Accent is frowned             apon in the south? I always get asked "Where are you from?" and "Did you just get released from the                 Mountains?"  Ohhh Really, I did not know Nashville was the center for all the culture in the world you             dumb ass fuck and here I thought we had moved more towards getting to know folks before judging....             Seriously WTH is this, I generally try to get to know some one before insulting them on purpose. 

2.) Los Angeles, CA
        Just do your self a favor do not go there...People sucked, booze was expensive, and well it is in                             Comiefornia, need I say more? I mean my accent was really run in the ground here.  People made it a             special point to come by and make fun of my accent.

3.) Fort Worth, TX
          Same issues as with Nashville, it seemed if you are not from there then go fuck yourself cause no else                will.

4.) Austin, TX
        A nice college town more accepting right, lol....Fuck dog you been had if you think so.  Also the hipster         movement is strong with this one.  A poor ol country boy aint got a good chance there I mean hells bells         when skinny jean, unwashed, communist, little hipsters are the rage of the town.  Good Ol Boys are so up         a fucking creek.  We are looked at as those that caused every mass genocide in the world.  So save                     yourselves some pains fellas, but if you must visit make sure and do it during football season, so it is a             more mix of a crowd in town.  Easier times going out and talking to folks. 

Ok I will finish this latter for now it is time for bed........

No matter where I go, I can still hear the soft Southern Winds in live Oak Trees; and those Williams boys still mean a lot to me. THANK YOU TENNESSEE! I guess we're all gonna be what where gonna be. So what do you do with good Ol Boys Like Me? Ahh what do you do with Good Ol Boys Like ME?